Wednesday, September 9, 2015

You're Allergic To What?

The morning after my last post we had an allergist appointment for Abigail to figure out why she had come out in a full body rash a few weeks ago (requiring a late night ER visit).  It went well and they discovered she has a fairly mild and typical reaction to some seasonal plants but that the rash was probably not due to any of these things.  The final answer on the reaction "it was possibly viral even though she wasn't sick, there's nothing more to do about it.  If it happens again take more antihistamines".

While we were there the doctor noticed a spot on one of Isabel’s legs, she commented that we might like to stop by the pediatrician’s office on the way out because it looked odd. 

I dutifully did this and the triage nurse went back and forth on whether I should see a doctor until finally settling on yes.  The appointment was made for later in the afternoon since I was at that point going to pick James up so we could arrange a rental car large enough to accommodate everyone while my car was being worked on.

We went home and I honestly can’t remember what I did, I think I cleaned something but you can’t tell. I probably fed a few kids.  I can’t really be sure, life is a bit of a blur right now.  Thanks to an amazing neighbor who offered to oversee the older three children as they ran through the neighborhood I was able to go back to the doctor with just Isabel.  It is a rare treat to do a doctors visit without hecklers.

We saw a very experienced doctor who took one look at the rash and donned gloves.  He inspected it, turning her leg this way and that.  Finally he said he thought it looked most like shingles but that shingles are not possible in a two year old.  He invited four additional doctors to come and look at it.  They all squeezed into this tiny room and vied for a spot close to the leg in question.  Isabel acted like this was the most normal thing ever.  They all agreed that it did look remarkably like shingles.  Their professional diagnostic words were “well, its weird”.  Their only other suggestion was that it could be a spider bite but if it spread, as it appeared to be doing, then that couldn’t be it in which case they were back to shingles. 

Their treatment plan was this.  “In either case there is nothing we can do”.  Ok, then.  That was what I was planning before the visit so that’s wonderful.  Thank you for your time.  Before we could go we had to have her leg pose for a quick photo so they could add it to their book of weird things.  Their camera had run out of batteries so one of the nurses took the picture with her phone.

Later that afternoon I was conferring with another neighbor about this rash.  She did some research and came to show me a bunch of photos that we agreed looked remarkably like Isabel’s rash.  It was in fact a case of poison ivy.  I’m not sure how five doctors could have missed that but there you have it.  I don’t know where she came into contact with the plant of doom but its not uncommon around here.  Yet another reason why camping in America is fraught with danger.  Between poisonous plants, poisonous creatures, poisonous insects and savage beasts I’m feeling more and more at ease with the inside of my house right now.

We had another reason to visit the emergency room a few weeks ago too.  We had come home late in the afternoon after going for a drive.  The kids spilled out of the car and went straight for the front lawn.  James and I sat on the porch and watched as they engaged in an impromptu soccer game.  It was pretty funny to watch.  None of them were really dressed for sport and the puppy was joining it as well.  They set up goals and raced up and down.  Kaitlyn (the only actual soccer player among them) tried to tell them when they needed to do different kinds of throw ins or kicks.  Abigail and Isabel were wearing bike helmets and Isabel had even found a stick with a yellow flag attached which she would wave at anyone who got close to her. 

As we watched them playing it reinforced in our minds that Emily should stick to figure skating as her sport of choice.  She had difficulty connecting foot to ball and was seriously inhibited by her need to jump, spin and do cartwheels.  During one such play there was a mid air collision between Emily and Kaitlyn which looked vaguely reminiscent of a kung fu movie.  Unfortunately Kaitlyn came out of it screaming. 

The game was over and we went inside.  We applied ice to Kaitlyn’s shin and could see a bump and bruise developing.  I didn’t think it was too serious but she assured us she couldn’t stand on the leg.  We had recently discovered that there is an emergency room just 10 minutes from our house.  I packed her back into the car and we headed off to the ER.  She insisted on a wheelchair and I agreed because the alternative was to carry her and I figured if I did I’d be booking myself in for a back injury.

The doctors and nurses were lovely.  They ordered an x-ray and then we waited for the results.  They came in and it was decided that since there was no break what we were dealing with was a garden variety contusion.  They gave me a handout and we prepared to leave.  Now remember, this kid had been wheeled in, unable to bear weight on her severely injured leg less than an hour earlier.  She had refused an ice pack because the weight of it hurt too much. 

So of course she skipped out of there happily waving goodbye to all the staff.

I am now receiving love letters from this new to us hospital.  They apparently appreciate our business and look forward to seeing us again soon. 

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Green Boots, Black Tyres

I am going to preface this post by saying that for a while now our family has been going through some extremely tough times.  There is a lot of heaviness and definitely more tough times ahead as we live with sickness in our midst and are faced with the mortality of James' mom. This in turn reminds us of our own short time here on Earth. 

Whether you come from a position of faith or not it is important to note that we do.  When I say I thank God for something, I really do mean it.  I actively thank Him on a daily basis for the ways He provides for us and provides relief for us.  Sometimes it feels like we can’t go another step but again and again we are amazed at our capacity, which I know is a gift from God.  I thank God every day that He gifted me with a sense of humour.  This is often the only reason I’m standing at the end of the day and not huddled, rocking and mumbling to myself in a corner somewhere.  I do believe that if it weren’t for my ability to see the funny side of things in the, quite frankly bizarre, happenings of our family, I would be in a home for the bewildered.  I really do.

I’d like to say this day’s events are rare but sadly they are not.  Right now we deal with crazy, dramatic, out of the ordinary events on an almost daily basis.  I hope life doesn’t continue like this because it is wearing us out but I’m glad we have discovered humour amongst the outrageousness.

A few days ago we celebrated the beginning of the school year.  I’m one of those unnatural mothers who dances a jig as the school bus pulls away.  I love my children with all my heart but absence makes the heart grow fonder and this is the time of the year I feel the truth in that statement. 

Not all my kids are out of the house at school though.  Emily does an online school from home but she’s a good student and doesn’t require me to sit next to her all day.  So, my new routine involves time with just Isabel for several hours of most days.  It is blissful.  That is until I realized on that second day that I had failed to factor my own cleanliness into the daily equation.  Everyone was at school or on task but I was still needing a shower. 

Our recent transition from cot to toddler bed means I can no longer put Isabel into her cot for a short playtime while I take care of my own personal hygiene.  I figured that it would be safest to take her into the bathroom with me.  What could possibly go wrong with her just a step away? 

I pulled the curtain back and was confronted by a two year old who was not only wearing a bike helmet (?) but had slathered her hands and parts of the bathroom with toothpaste.  There were a few positive things about this.  Number one, she had found the toothpaste tube I knew was around but had been unable to find for several days (its ok, there was another one but I really wanted this one).  Number two, it was white toothpaste and not blue which is harder to get off things.  And of course she smelled minty fresh and that’s never a bad thing.

After that little micro drama, followed by a quick tumble down the staircase (thank God for the bike helmet fascination she is currently having) all was well with the world.  She took a nap, I folded six thousand loads of washing and we prepared to take Emily to skating and pick up Kaitlyn from school.  We were busy but not overwhelmingly so. 

Gradually our household expanded as everyone trickled in from their various schools.  I prepped dinner to be cooked later.  It was time to pick up Emily and then go on to Kaitlyn’s very first soccer practice of the season.  On the way I had her try on her soccer boots to make sure they still fit after not wearing them all summer long. 

The noises coming from the back seat were indication that there were severe problems with the boots.  Kaitlyn can be a bit dramatic but she also has some mild sensory issues so I had to work through all that to figure out if it was a problem that needed immediate attention or whether we could muddle through one practice before trying to get new boots.  The noise escalated and although my insides started to boil and I really felt like having her ride on the roof of the car, I took a deep breath and pointed the car towards the soccer shop.  We were going to be cutting it close to make it back to the practice in time but it was either that or not go at all at that point.

I screeched into the parking lot on two wheels and raced into the shop with Kaitlyn.  I told them we had a practice in 30 minutes and they had approximately 5 minutes to sell me a pair of boots that fit.  They were amazing and got her kitted out in no time.  I felt a little bad for my inward feelings and at the same time vindicated in my decision to fix the problem immediately when I saw that she had been fitted with a size 2 boot and her old ones were size 12.5.  We ran to the car, Kaitlyn wearing the new boots, and started for the road. 

It was the beginning of evening rush hour so I had formulated a route in my head that would cut a lot of it out and hopefully still get us to practice on time.  There was a break in the traffic and I hit the gas pedal.  As my car leapt forward to join the line of traffic so did the razor sharp curb.  I swear, it jumped out and bit my tyres with its granite teeth.

I realized within microseconds that my car wasn’t handling well, a feeling that was backed up by a bystander’s slow head shake, the look on his face saying “nope, it’s over lady”.  I pulled to a stop and then inched forward very slowly to get the car off the road and into a driveway entrance out of the line of traffic.  I stepped out and saw both left hand tyres with gaping holes in them and chunks taken out of one rim.  I wasn’t going anywhere. 

It took a long time to sort this mess out.  I had to pile the kids into James’ car but since it only has five seats as opposed to my eight, he was left standing on the roadside.  He did make it home after a friend took pity on him and the tow truck had hauled my sorry looking car off to the fixing place. 

I am a shoe person.  That is an understatement.  Before this day, though, I believe Emily took the prize for the person with the most expensive pair of shoes in the household, being her figure skates.  She took the prize from me for a pair of hiking boots I have from my pre kid days (factoring in the exchange rate since I bought them in New Zealand).  Today she passed the baton to Kaitlyn whose new soccer boots cost more than both previous winners put together if you factor in the overly aggressive curb which made new tyres and rims a necessity.  Of course if I had thought to check her boots before the day of the first practice we could have avoided that whole incident.  At least the boots are green.  That’s my favourite colour and its going to make me smile when I see Kaitlyn charging down the field wearing them.

Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Blue Skies, Crazy Days

I’m sitting in my sewing room watching a pair of giant birds soaring around a blue sky, still reeling from the events of yesterday.  It wasn’t a tragedy but it was wall to wall crazy from morning til night. 

I was sitting in this same spot two days ago.  I was contemplating how well I had done at getting meals on the table all week, I was feeling a bit like a rock star.  People should be screaming my name as I pass by.  Oh wait, they do that already, only they think I’m their mother.  I opened my calendar to see what I had on that day and my bubble was burst.  It was only Monday.  Just what meals did I think I had created so far?  I do not know.

When I laid eyes on Abigail I realized something was not ok.  She was covered from head to toe in hives and her little face was swollen not quite beyond recognition but definitely enough to make you jump.  I spent the day giving antihistamines, going to doctors appointments and discovering that she had hives due to an unknown allergen that is silently lurking in our house or yard.  I realize this was the day before the crazy day but it relates. 

Later that night, way later, after several doses of antihistamine and worsening hives I decided to take her to the emergency room just to be sure she wasn’t going to stop breathing in the night.  They gave steroids, advised continuing antihistamines and gave a prescription for an epi pen just in case.  I got home and fell into bed sometime around midnight.

Morning came way too quickly for my liking but there was much to do.  I had plans.  The first thing to overset these plans was the wet bed of one child whose pull-up had leaked.  Laundry pushed down the line to accommodate emergency sheet washing.  Breakfast, shower, try to find bathing suit (don’t ask) and try to find position in which it makes me look like a supermodel (involves everyone in a 2 mile radius having their eyes closed unfortunately), 15 minutes of concentrated effort tidying in one room, go downstairs to find rest of house trashed by 2 year old in my absence.

Get ready to leave the house to run errands, can’t find dog.  Did I mention we got a dog?  We did, she’s a 9 month old shih poo (please for your own safety do not try to say that fast if you are anywhere near a swear jar).  Her name is Pepper and she is adorable.  She is also having her period right now.  Anyway, she was lost, couldn’t find her anywhere.  We searched the house from top to bottom and back again.  We went outside and called her name like maniacs.  I yelled at the kids for leaving doors open and even brought mosquitos into the rant.  I imagined her gallivanting around the neighborhood becoming impregnated by any mangy mutt she could lay her paws on. 

Finally Kaitlyn found her locked in the master bedroom which is currently being occupied by James’ dad (a long story).  Much later in the day he came home to find a special “gift” from Pepper.  I don’t know where she hid it because I did actually check the room to make sure any such “gift” had not been gifted.  Poor little thing had followed me in there on my bathing suit mission and got stuck. 

So we finally get to the car.  The kids were saying something about a smell but smells are nothing out of the ordinary around here.  I made it to the car and was nearly knocked on my butt by the smell of death emanating from my beautiful car.  It was then that I heard “oh, yeah, I kind of left my egg in there”.  Firstly, they are not supposed to eat in my chariot and secondly, an egg?  What the heck? Gloves, paper towels, plastic bag and lots of disinfecting spray later I had it cleaned up but man rotten eggs have serious hang time!

Finally we were on our way.  We made it to the pharmacy to pick up the prescriptions from last night, managed to divert the cries for a “selsa” balloon (Frozen) but unfortunately my back was turned when little miss long arms got hold of two stuffed My Little Pony dolls.  I let her hold them while I finished my transaction and then I told the other kids to get ready.  I wrenched them from her vice like grip, put them back with their friends and gave the command.  Run girls! To the door!  I pushed the cart and I’m quite sure I created a Doppler effect with the screams as we went.

Next stop, supermarket.  It was a quick visit, just the normal hi jinks there.  Got home in time for lunch and I made this green salsa, which we all decided we could just sit and eat with a spoon. 

Next up was a visit to the skating rink to find out why Emily had not been responding to texts all day.  She had left the phone in James’ car, which was why her GPS locator told me she was currently in a pond.  James’ car was not in a pond but apparently her phone thought it was.  While I went into the rink I left the other kids in the car (with it running and the air con on).  They listened to music while I was gone and were angelic in their countenance and still buckled into their seats when I got back.  Well, not quite.  They were listening to music.  One of them informed me that she had succumbed to an overwhelming desire to pee.  Never mind that there was a bathroom just steps away.  I had her strip off and since I had nothing for her to slip into she rode butt naked in her sister’s booster seat rolling down the window the whole way home.  I drove carefully so as not to attract the attention of any law enforcement officers.  Can you imagine explaining that?

When we got home I discovered that not only had unauthorized peeing been happening but also chewing gum had been found and consumed.  Also it had been stuck in great strands to the windows, inside and out.  I never did find out why that was.

I thought I was in the home stretch now, just dinner to prep and James would be home and then kids would go to bed and all would be well with the world.  No, that was not to be.  When we got home it was discovered that Pepper had a problem, she needed to poop (again apparently) but it was all stuck to her furry butt and causing her much discomfit.  More gloves, wipes, scissors and tail holding.  She was all cleaned up but still wasn’t quite herself.  Still, I needed to feed the hungry masses and it was already getting late.  I disinfected myself and made stuffed summer squash for dinner. 

James came home to drop Emily and then had to go back to work.  I sat with the girls at dinner time and was asked in a voice full of awe and a touch of disbelief “Mummy, were you born in 19 something?”  This question was quickly followed by more along the lines of what telephones looked like and how we survived without cellphones and the internet. 

Next, bedtime for the kids and then another look at the dog who still hadn’t perked up.  I searched the internet (how would I have coped in the olden days?) and found that dogs have anal glands.  They didn’t have these when I was a kid.  I discovered that it was now my job to “milk” these little glands of doom.  More gloves, full on bath for the dog and a good spray down with disinfectant for myself. 

Finally bedtime for me but still no James.  I had a restless night because there was no James although I did share my bed with a clean dog, an Emily, a stuffed panda, stuffed cat and stuffed dog.


I was woken this morning by a surprisingly cheerful James. He had finally made it home after working all night.  He was carrying a freshly made coffee for me.  What a guy!

Thursday, April 30, 2015

26 Bullet Points To Sum Up The Past 10 Months

I haven’t written a post in a really long time.  There has been a lot going on so I will summarise with bullet points. 

  • Summer 2014 happened.  We didn’t make it to the beach which made me sad.
  • Emily started an online school which she does from home.  She loves it and so do we.
  • We decided to buy a house, so we did and we moved one town over in October.  We are very happy.
  • The leaves fell off the trees (all except one tree which was really weird).
  • Kaitlyn played indoor soccer, it was fun except the early Saturday morning games (7 am, what!!)
  • We got a puppy for Kaitlyn for Christmas.  The surprise was ruined by Amazon but she still thought it was cool. 
  • James’ mom continues her battle with cancer.  In January they moved in with us to be closer to her hospital while her treatment is ongoing. 
  • James lost his job.
  • James got a new job really close to our house (no more commute – yay).
  • James shoveled a path through the snow on the deck so he could BBQ.  He didn’t let the deepest recorded snow ever stop him!  It tasted amazing.
  • We bought an eighth of a cow, named him Terrence and are enjoying eating him piece by piece (sorry vegetarians/vegans).
  • We signed up for a local CSA and are eagerly awaiting the weekly influx of fresh and locally grown fruit and veges.
  • My parents came for their long planned return visit.
  • James and I had to move to the basement to sleep while the house is full of extra people.  This involved a late night emergency trip to IKEA one night when the air mattress didn’t work out for us. 
  • We replaced my van with an SUV and we can now fit everyone including the grandparents in at one time.
  • Abigail had her first ever birthday party.  It was a blast.  She will turn 5 on Mother’s Day this year.
  • Isabel has taken to removing her nappy in her cot (just imagine the horror).  In response, we have taken to duct taping the tabs closed so she can’t.  This is the first child we’ve had to do this to since Emily.
  • Emily burned herself on the chest with chicken pot pie gravy and will need a skin graft to fix it.  She wondered what kind of food they would have at the hospital and we decided it probably wouldn’t be chicken pot pie.  We go in on Monday for a mother/daughter overnight experience.  I think we both wish it was a mother/daughter trip to get pedicures instead.
  • My parents went to England to visit my sister.  They’ll be back in June.
  • The gas guy came around to replace the gas meter (every 7 years apparently) just as I discovered the dog had peed on the floor and Abigail proudly announced that she had peed in her underpants too!
  • Pepper (the dog) had a slight reaction to eating too many crayons and threw up on my new couch cushion.  It wasn’t even a cool colour.
  • I just now got Abigail’s proper birth certificate in the mail so she can start school in September.
  • This is just the highlights, how am I still functioning?
  • I just looked in the mirror and noticed all the little hairs around my top lip have turned white at the roots and I have a pimple on my nose.
  • It’s ok, I took care of my little problem from the bullet point above, there’s no use looking for them next time you see me.
  • This was supposed to be the year of awesomeness.  Can we please get back to that now?