Monday, July 7, 2014

Just Another Day

Today just got crazier as it went on.  I think its done now.  I really hope it is because I can’t imagine what else could happen.

It started out just fine, breakfast, older kids to their respective summer activities and then Abigail, Isabel and I went grocery shopping.  I managed to stop Abigail from repeating herself when she asked, extremely loudly, whether someone was a boy or a girl.  I felt proud about that.  I shouldn’t have, I know that now.

We made it through the checkout while only mildly harassing the cashier about why she didn’t have a cat.  That was after sharing with the poor man who was trying to pick out potato salad that the orange fish (salmon - much desired being the favourite colour of Abigail) first had to be killed before we could eat it.  Otherwise it would be mean and apparently the fish doesn’t mind dying for the cause in the least.  We smiled sweetly at another man who had a horrified look on his face when the angelic looking Isabel screeched so loud that ears were ringing for several minutes.  She wasn’t even mad, she was so happy she needed to share with the whole town.

We made it through the Dunkin Donuts drive though because Mummy needed re-caffeinating at that point.  We made it all the way home even through the screaming because we “might” be going the wrong way.  We weren’t.

We got all the groceries inside the house, the baby put down for a nap and we cut up the orange fish into portions for the freezer.  We talked the orange fish through the ordeal.

I decided that although the house looked like it had been ransacked by a team of bandits we should tidy just one section of it.  I chose the dining room because it seemed like a good place to start and it seemed achievable.  We swept the floor, changed the table cloth and went through the school work that had been dumped on the floor at the end of the term.  When finished we stood back and enjoyed our one clean room with smiles on our faces.

We then watched Frozen for the 58th time. I totally forgot to make lunch.  Isabel slept through it anyway and I think Abigail ate blueberries.  It was time to get Emily and then shortly after to get Kaitlyn.  I loaded the littlies up in the car and gave them snacks to tide them over while we drove.  In between pickups we went to a shop since we were too early for pickup but too late to go back home.

We lost Abigail three times in the shop before we made it to the checkout.  We then got the one checkout operator who was thoroughly unimpressed with small children.  She wasn’t mean to them, she just chose to pretend they didn’t exist.  Abigail would have none of that and after trying to start up a conversation several times she resorted to climbing up onto the counter so that she would be noticed.  All in the time it took to buy 2 pairs of jandals.  I will be forever grateful that Abigail failed to notice the lady behind us who was of more than substantial rotundness, attired in a rather revealing hot pink dress and had bright blue hair.  

After we got home it was almost time to get the dinner started.  Emily had some computer work to do and Abigail had to finish Frozen.  I finally fed the baby some actual food which made her simultaneously happy and caused her to pee.  I found my morning coffee sitting where I had forgotten it earlier in the day. 

Just before I got to actually start dinner my phone started going off.  We were under a tornado warning and were instructed to go to the basement immediately.  I was trying not to alarm the kids but telling them to go to the basement is an alarming request.  They took it pretty well but it became obvious that we are not the most emergency savvy group of people.  After I got everyone settled down I looked around and realized that we had managed to grab quite an astounding array of stuff.  Emily, of course, had her blanket and several stuffed animals along with a computer.  Kaitlyn had a phone and several other trinkets.  Abigail had her blanket (which she had actually run back for) and a pair of shoes, something that she had failed to take with her on any of our previous outings today.  I had managed to grab the baby, a seat to strap her into, a camping chair, phone charger, cat and my purse. 

We had failed to bring a much needed nappy for the baby and we couldn’t find the emergency lantern because it was lost in one of the kids bedrooms after being used as a night light (without parental permission).  Thank goodness the power didn’t go out.

We didn’t have to stay down in the basement for too long. The kids spent their time amusing themselves with Daddy’s star trek Mr Potato Head toys although we never did find Uhura’s legs.

We came back upstairs and I was finally able to prepare dinner.  I made salad, baked sweet potatoes and cooked the orange fish.  It took some wrangling to get everyone to the table but we got there.  All was peaceful until Kaitlyn asked for the salad dressing to be passed.  We practiced good manners both in the asking and responding.  I thought it went well.  Except that Kaitlyn noticed the dressing (which I had made in a jam jar) had become separated and needed a vigorous shake to mix it up.  She decided to perform this vigorous shake shortly after loosening the lid.  The resulting shower she received was nothing short of spectacular. 

There was a short silence during which we all sat there in shock.  Emily was wondering when Mummy was going to start yelling at Kaitlyn.  Abigail was wondering when it was ok to laugh and Kaitlyn was desperately trying to decide whether to cry or defend herself just as vigorously as she has shaken that dressing.  I decided it was best to laugh about it.  We all collapsed into giggling heaps and I was unable to pull myself together in time to warn Kaitlyn not to go anywhere.  My pride in my only clean room was dissolving fast.  Fortunately when I talk of tablecloths I really mean those cheap disposable plastic ones you get at Wal-Mart and not expensive fabric ones.  I gave up on those ones with baby number one.

Emily and Kaitlyn immediately took off upstairs to get in the bathtub.  They had been biding their time waiting for me to say the word and apparently this overrode anything I had to say on the matter.  I was helpless to stop them as I sat and wondered how long it would take to clean this mess and then how long it would take to clean the inevitable mess they were now making in my bathroom.

Abigail quickly followed her big sisters and almost as quickly came back down in a crumpled state because they had thrown her out.  She was completely naked and sobbing “but I’m already naked, why they won’t let me in?”

I let the baby finish her dinner while I attempted a cleanup of the greasy mess but not before I had witnessed Abigail go over to survey it, stand in it and then walk all over the wooden floor with oil on her feet.   I'm not sure why I did this next thing but I had wanted to change the fish's water this morning so I had his fresh water sitting all day with its conditioner in it.  I noticed this while I was clearing things and decided to quickly do it right then and there.  In the process I accidentally dumped poor Bob into the sink and due to the nature of the sink hole, he almost flopped himself down the drain several times.  I tried to scoop him up with a spoon and got him on the 3rd attempt.  He remained fairly calm throughout the ordeal and in the end was only saved from certain death by a piece of sweet potato that had got stuck on one side of the plug hole.  He seems to be doing ok now, his tank is clean and the kids, thankfully, didn't notice my panicked sink fishing and once again I find myself grateful.  This time that fish can't talk.  After that I grabbed the now very smelly baby and went up to the bathroom to see what was still dry in there. 

Surprisingly, things were close to ok up there.  Abigail jumped into the bathtub and then I had to have them drain almost half the water because they had filled it up so high the baby would have gone underwater as soon as she got in.  I also noticed that Emily was wearing swimming goggles and diving underwater like a scuba master.  I didn’t dare comment on that.

Isabel was placed in the bath and quickly washed down, she’s not that keen on baths but once she figured out that splashing her sisters produced giggles she seemed to change her mind about it.

I got them all out of the tub, warned of the giant puddle of water in the middle of the room and got the baby dried off.  I tried to get them to fish out all the My Little Ponies from the damp tub so that Daddy wouldn’t have to bathe with them in the morning and I discovered where all the flannels have gone.

Getting them into bed was fairly easy.  I only had to answer ‘where are my pajamas’ questions from two of them and although I discovered that two of them had no bed clothes I was able to find replacements that pleased them without too much trouble.  
I must now go and bring order back to the kitchen, and my bathroom.  I have to switch the laundry I just ran so that Kaitlyn has clothes to wear tomorrow too because even though the laundry baskets are empty, so are her drawers.  Apparently it is my job to find dirty clothes wherever they happen to congregate which, in this house, doesn’t seem to be in dirty laundry baskets or any other place that is obvious. I’m ignoring the rest of the house.  I am seriously thinking that we should limit ourselves to just one room so the rest of the house can be clean and tidy and stay that way.  I also think naked days would be a fantastic idea so that I could catch up on all the laundry I have now discovered I need to do.


  1. This is hysterical!!
    So much to relate to, except the baby at this point ;-)
    You guys are a magical adventure. Love you!!

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  3. And at the end of the day, all the kids were clean, fed, and healthy. WIN!